Me: This week's work schedule is all over the place. I should sms my employer so that she can tell me what hours I need to work this week, especially in the light of the fact that the past four days (a long weekend with a public holiday), I was at their every beck and call because of their hectic shifts and had hardly any time to myself.
*I text said employer*
*cri cri*
*hours pass*
*cri cri*
Employer: Oh look! A text from my rather important nanny on whom I depend to run half my life. I'll only reply to her first question. Never mind the others.
Me: Well, good to know I am not working this Saturday. How about TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY?!
*I text employer again*
* Seasons pass*
*cri cri*
Me: Well, I guess I'll head home now and ask her in person.
*drive drive*
Me: Oh hi grown ups! I can see that you are shouting at each other, Madam, you are crying, but you are also not wearing any trousers, which is questionable but at this point probably rational to you and your strange mind. So anyway I just wanted to know, what are my times for this week please?
Employer: We are busy talking now but don't worry I'll sms you
Me: *twitch*
Me: Uhhh yeah that's nice but TELL ME NOW please madam enkosi. I need to make appointments with every estate agent in Bristol so I don't end up living in a cave under the M32 so do I or do I not need to drive the kids to preschool tomorrow?
Employer: You don't need to drive the kids to preschool, I will sms you the rest of the times later.
Me: Great!
*I wait for the sms with the rest of the times*
*I am still waiting at 11pm when everyone has gone to sleep*
*I am going to come to your bedroom and superglue your motherflipping phone to your motherflipping face*
ANSWER
THE MOTHERFLIPPING
TEXT
No comments:
Post a Comment