The first few days

So I'm in Backwell. No paedos or scary murderers.

The clouds are doing a pretty good job at being British, with the sky being constantly grey or rainy or both. Luckily this winter is pretty mellow and it hasn't dropped below 0 degrees yet (thank you bajeebus. i was afraid. so very afraid).

At the moment I'm under my massive duvet listening to Bon Iver (but of course), with a huge box of tissues by my side.

Nearly as big as a pillowcase, boet.

I have caught the Toddler Flu.  Big One woke up with flu today, and within the course of the day I had caught it too. Of course this is doing wonders for my viral infection cough, which has been around for about a month now.

I suspect I will die alone in a ditch in a few days, my body to be covered by gorgeous autumnal leaves, and some Wordsworthian adventurer will write my obituary upon discovering said corpse. 

And now for something completely different, I LOVE DISNEY MOVIES!

I love Merlin.  We have been watching a lot of Disney films in the past few days, and I'm loving it! Aside from the joy of Disney, things have been a bit rocky with Big One because he doesn't want me around at all. Little One is much easier to please (rocks. seriously. we played with rocks for 20 solid minutes. when i pulled him away he wept). I'm hoping once the folks go back to work, the kids will actually listen to me. 

I haven't been out alone yet, still waiting for the car, and honestly, my wonderful boytchf. 

Adventuring in England on my own isn't really what I want to do. I went to Costco* with the mom and kids, and even there I kept thinking, OMG BOYF WOULD LOVE THIS!

Except I didn't say the word ''boyf'' in my head because that would be a little ridonk.

I do think the word "ridonk" though, so there we go. 

I think the snot is going to my brain. 

Seriously, boyf, get over here already. There are so many lovely parks and meadows I want to stroll in with you. You can't stroll solo. That's just sad and far too Wordsworthian for my taste. 

Obligatory poo post: My first nappy changing session wasn't too bad, except none of the poo stayed in the nappy. I never thought so much poo could balance on a butt crack without falling off. There. I hope you're happy, my friends. I hope you're reading this with some biltong in your mouth. Then, when I washed the boy in the bidet, a biiig chunk of poo floated about in there. And I had to scoop it out. Mmmmm. Delicious.

*Costco: It's like Makro, on crack. You buy everything in bulk, for cheap cheap. Like heita ma cheap cheap! MASSIVE boxes of biscuits and chips and sweets. You can buy MANSIZE tissues in MANSIZE packs of MANSIZE amounts. I will refrain from launching into a feminist rant about these blerry gendered flipping tissues.