Why it rocks to be a pessimist

Being pessimistic is often seen as something lame and so like, gothic, but I've just realised it has its perks.

Here I was, about to watch my very first episode of "Suits" because I'm lank tired after a 10-hour working day, when I decided to roll up my dirty socks (possibly wet with toddler pee) and throw them into my laundry bag.

Which is a packet.
With a narrow mouth.
And it is pretty far from my current position of being-a-sloth-on-my-bed.

So I was all like, pfft, it's probably not going to get anywhere near the bag.

AND THEN IT WENT IN!

I was like

To take the above photo, because my webcam is actually a caveman trying to be all futuristic, I had to press the button with my toe. Again, I was like, this is totally gonna fail.

And then guess what?



And THEN, I saw a stupid fly banging against the inside of my window. It's been lost inside this house since summer, and I can't stress enough how STUPID stupid flies are, so I decided to open the window and coerce it to fly out.

And I was like

Because it's a FLY and it's probably been eating cow dung so EWWWWW.
Well, you can't always be happy. Flies SUCK.

But, I did manage to make it go outside so...





Moral of the story: It's okay to think that everything's always going to go badly. That way, when you DON'T wake up with a poisonous spider on your face, even though you totally could have, IT WILL BE THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!

Look at me, got a bounce in my step,
Feelin' so fly
You know why
I got my socks in the bag!
Bwomp bwomp bwomp bwomp.